So I said I was going to try to be better at house keeping, I am proud to say that I have done my dishes every day, and been doing at least a load of laundry a day too (that are not cloth diapers) I also decided it was time to lose the 20 some odd pounds I put on after Tiny was born, that's right AFTER I only have 4 pounds to lose from my pregnancy, the rest are from before and after. Le Sigh.
So I know that I am BAD at giving up food, and I remember seeing one of those "the more you know" commercials that said eating a healthy breakfast helps you weigh less, so do eating whole grains, and obviously cutting out "junk" now this is the hard part for me. "Junk" is not just sweets for me, or even potato chips, junk can also be me having a salty craving and eating an entire can of black olives on a whim. Yes I can see you over there making that disgusted look, but I don't say anything about some of the things you think are tasty and I think are beyond retched. But I also LOVE healthy foods like veggies and salads, my sister teases that I make them unhealthy with the amount of ranch I douse them in, and I always assumed she was right, but honestly I don't. I am also switching to "light" ranch as soon as I have finished using the 2 bottles in the pantry. I also stole her "secret" recipe for low cal veggie ranch dip, with is a 16oz tub of fat free sour cream and a packet of ranch dip powder, mix it up and leave it over night in the fridge to "get friendly", as those tv chefs say. I can eat 10 carrots and 10 green olives with a tbls and 1/2. That is a 107 cal snack. 50 of which is my green olives *Heart my vinegary foods*
So to help me on my journey to health I needed help. I am BAD at REMEBERING that I'm on a diet. I know I know I should remember, but then I get bored, or hungry, or have a random craving and find myself zombie like mowing threw something I really shouldn't eat, or should only eat so much of. So I made myself a "sticker chart" of sorts. I get X's in boxes for good behavior and get .25 towards a Mommy only fund. And I get blacked out boxes for bad behavior (junk food, ect) and I have to give up .50 from my mommy money. I also found a website and app called myfitnesspal. I LOVE it!
It helps you set goals and tells you how many calories you are allowed to eat in a day, you add in exercise you do and it gives you bonus calories. I think this is what motivates me. I'm given 1300 calories in a day. This seemed like SO MUCH, until I started adding "recipes" for my favorite foods. Yeah, no wonder I'm fat! If I don't go out for more walks (its summer and hot so our walks have tapered off) or SOMETHING then I don't burn calories and can't eat. Insert sad face here. So I look at that remaining calorie counter as a challenge. Hmm, well I just did house work, how many did I burn. Uh-huh, well I just spent 20 mins in the back yard WEEDING, what now. And then there is a feature that lets you see what fitness pal friends are doing, like Friend burned 700 calories today! and I look at my 300 and think, hmmm. What else can I do today to bump that number up. I am reminded of being in my weight lifting class in high school with 2 of my best friends. We were super competitive with each other. At first our teacher did not believe that we were doing reps of 300-500 calf raises, but we were, we had to one up each other constantly.
So to challenge my computerized nemesis (and new best friend) I chose to take the boys on a long walk today. At first I said 20 mins, then I pushed it to 30. I was SO proud of myself, pushing a 60 lbs load (preschooler and big stroller) and carrying a 19 lb baby on my back. I KNOW I burned more than the app is giving me credit for, but that's OK. I had my low cal veggie and vinegar snack, I am looking at dinner now. Im trying to add in more recipes that I can make quick and easy that are not canned. I also need to see about a few of my FAVORITES for this fall. During the fall and winter we are big on home made ground beef stew (my sister the genius because I hated the texture of beef chunks) and lasagna, shepards pie, ect, ect. These don't sound very healthy to me, I also have a hard time stopping when I start eating these delicious meals.
I guess I need a treadmill, then I can walk as I eat the bad stuff...
So how are all of you keeping active out there?
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Motherhood Humor
I need to print this out and put it on my fridge, and door, and vanity mirror. Just to remind myself how true it is, and that's its ok not to be perfect.
Motherhood and Serenity
Five days ago I packed myself and 2 small children, as well as all our luggage onto a train for a 4 hour ride. Yes I now realized the pure insanity in this! As the miles flew past my frustration grew and grew until I was ready to scream at the world. After our very very long trip I repack our little cart with all our luggage, strap the baby to my back and buckle the harness to Sam and we head to our destination, only mere blocks from the train station... All up hill. I don't mean, oh this is a little more difficult to walk. I mean bent nearly in half to have the leverage to push the cart up the hill, while wearing an 11 month old baby and leading a 5 year old child. I was already at my wits end by the time we stepped off the train. I am truly surprised I made it at all, but there was that stubborn streak that refused to be defeated.
We reach our destination, my best friend, and the boys' godmother's, apartment. A 3rd floor walk up with steep rickety stairs. For the first time in my life I stood waiting un awkwardly. Knowing I looked out of place, knowing that people were staring, and I didn't care. I didn't have the energy left for it. After what seemed hours, and was less than 10 mins, Bekah arrived home from work and carried most of the stuff up the stairs, giving me a much needed break. She even watched the children as I showered and washed off the sweat of frustration and exertion from my body.
But that night Sam regressed to his terrible bedtime behavior and I fought him for HOURS to lay down, eventually it was Bekah that coaxed and bribed him to bed. After a week of excellent behavior I felt like an utter failure again. Bekah reassured me it was the change of scenery and the new excitement that comes with it, but I was dubious.
I felt this was a less than good start to our 5 day vacation and that it all seemed so bleak as I could not handle this nightly. But finally he fell asleep, and eventually I did too.
The next day we went thrift shopping (a favorite pass time of ours) and I came across a book, one that is hardly a secret, but one I never thought to pick up before. "Chicken soup for the mother's soul" I had been deeply fond of the teenager ones when I was younger and grabbed it on a whim as it was only $1.50. I began reading it and with each story my stress and frustration building over the last year and a half slowly washed away on a tide of tears. I encountered women much like myself, imperfect and ignorant of what to do. Sharing stories that either touched my heart, or made me think of our lives. Others gave me ideas of how to be a better mother. As Bekah had to work much of the time we were there I spent my days making sure her immaculate home wasn't destroyed by my 5 year old tornado like ours has been. I hand washed dishes each day and spent time with my children and time reading quietly.
I began to feel a sense of contentment and peace within myself, finding that I COULD be that kind of mother, the one that keeps a perfect home and still does other things (This has inspired me to try harder at home, you will likely hear my adventures in this endeavor) I felt myself reminded that I chose to have my children because I loved them, I remembered what a gift I had been given in these amazing little boys. I also got to enjoy a little Skype and see the love of my life and hear his voice for the first time in 2 months. I was better able to handle the things Sam did that had been causing so much anger and frustration only days before. On the long drive home (no train thank god) we played games like I spy and Highway ABCs and that peace in my heart and soul remained. I found more joys in the shear brilliance of my oldest son, and the heart warming love for my youngest at the sounds of his babble and snores.
I feel like vacation only gave me part of this serenity, I feel that reading this book has helped me even more. I wonder what other inspirations there are for me to find, I also wonder if I will remember to look for them when I feel that frustration building again.
We reach our destination, my best friend, and the boys' godmother's, apartment. A 3rd floor walk up with steep rickety stairs. For the first time in my life I stood waiting un awkwardly. Knowing I looked out of place, knowing that people were staring, and I didn't care. I didn't have the energy left for it. After what seemed hours, and was less than 10 mins, Bekah arrived home from work and carried most of the stuff up the stairs, giving me a much needed break. She even watched the children as I showered and washed off the sweat of frustration and exertion from my body.
But that night Sam regressed to his terrible bedtime behavior and I fought him for HOURS to lay down, eventually it was Bekah that coaxed and bribed him to bed. After a week of excellent behavior I felt like an utter failure again. Bekah reassured me it was the change of scenery and the new excitement that comes with it, but I was dubious.
I felt this was a less than good start to our 5 day vacation and that it all seemed so bleak as I could not handle this nightly. But finally he fell asleep, and eventually I did too.
The next day we went thrift shopping (a favorite pass time of ours) and I came across a book, one that is hardly a secret, but one I never thought to pick up before. "Chicken soup for the mother's soul" I had been deeply fond of the teenager ones when I was younger and grabbed it on a whim as it was only $1.50. I began reading it and with each story my stress and frustration building over the last year and a half slowly washed away on a tide of tears. I encountered women much like myself, imperfect and ignorant of what to do. Sharing stories that either touched my heart, or made me think of our lives. Others gave me ideas of how to be a better mother. As Bekah had to work much of the time we were there I spent my days making sure her immaculate home wasn't destroyed by my 5 year old tornado like ours has been. I hand washed dishes each day and spent time with my children and time reading quietly.
I began to feel a sense of contentment and peace within myself, finding that I COULD be that kind of mother, the one that keeps a perfect home and still does other things (This has inspired me to try harder at home, you will likely hear my adventures in this endeavor) I felt myself reminded that I chose to have my children because I loved them, I remembered what a gift I had been given in these amazing little boys. I also got to enjoy a little Skype and see the love of my life and hear his voice for the first time in 2 months. I was better able to handle the things Sam did that had been causing so much anger and frustration only days before. On the long drive home (no train thank god) we played games like I spy and Highway ABCs and that peace in my heart and soul remained. I found more joys in the shear brilliance of my oldest son, and the heart warming love for my youngest at the sounds of his babble and snores.
I feel like vacation only gave me part of this serenity, I feel that reading this book has helped me even more. I wonder what other inspirations there are for me to find, I also wonder if I will remember to look for them when I feel that frustration building again.
Friday, July 26, 2013
"Bed Time" Warning: Slightly religious
I want to tell you about our bed time routine. Bed time since Justin left for Alaska has been HELL. Sam fights and misbehaves and does everything he can to make me angry in hopes that I will give up and let him stay up. I won't get into the frustrating details but it can take hours to get him t g to bed.
Tonight we followed his bedtime routine that he set. I carried him to bed (yes, I carry a 40 lb boy to bed every night) I gave him hugs and kisses, then he gave me hugs and kisses, and then I snuggled him for awhile. As we lay there he told me that we hadn't prayed yet. I want to let you know that this isn't something that I started. I have taught him about God through the bible stories that I grew up reading, but we are more of a spiritual family than a religious one. But last month we were very tight on food and money to get food until the next pay day. So we prayed over every meal that God would help us make it last until the next time we were able to buy more. We never an out and I kept coming up with random ideas to use what we had. But after we were able to get more the prayers tapered off. Until 3 nights ago. Three nights ago as we lay in his bed snuggling he said "Mommy, we haven't prayed in a long time" I had thought he said PLAYED, so I was hurt, we had played with blocks with his brother earlier that day. And eventually he took my hands in his and made circle and said "no mommy, when we hold hands at the table and make a circle and talk to God"
That night he asked me if we could talk to God more, and we did, we prayed that Sam would be able to control himself and behave well and stay in bed, and that God could help mommy not to be angry as often (over his misbehavior) and we closed the prayer with "Amen"
Last night Sam started asking to say a part of the prayer, I always say th same thing, more as a reminder to both Sam and I then as a true prayer. I want Sam to remember to control himself (he says that he can't) and I want to remember to take a few deep breaths and to hold my temper that has become shorter lately. But he adds in his 4 year old Sam things, like getting to see Auntie tomorrow, even though he knows he can't. I will direct him to be fair to God and not ask for things Sam knows cannot happen, and simply to ask to see Auntie again soon. Tonight he asked God to give him magic, I had to laugh, because it's so Sam, he believes in the magic of the world and God, and so do I.
I think this is the continuation of him wishing at the fountain at the hospital and doctors office we take his brother to. Each time he always wishes that brother will get better and not have to get poked any more. So I just want to remind you that whether you are religious or not, children believe in magic, whether its fairies or God. So make this part of your routine, whether you are making firefly wishes or prayers, let your children express what is in their hearts, it will help you to better understand them, and tem to understand you.
The Good Behavior Store
So I have been telling you about our Behavior Bucks (BB) and that Sam can earn these with good behavior and by helping around the house. He also had to behave really well for the store to open. Today we opened the store and he had nearly earned all of the BB I had. He had been fined for bad behavior in the last few weeks, but after 3 nights in a row without fighting bed time I felt it was time to show him what he was behaving for.
As you can see we didn't do anything fancy, I have been hiding these in the trunk of my car and just pulled them out while he was eating dinner and priced them. I KNEW he had earned a lot so I priced the ones I thought he would want pretty high, but he surprised me.
We have been working on our counting and numbers so he actually recognized the number 5 an that the others were MUCH higher than that, so he decided that he would buy as many of those as he could!
I made him count out his money and pay (each bill I worth 1 as I didn't want to confuse him at only 4 years old) and he did great the first few times, when he chose to buy a few things over 10 BB he lost interest in counting in his excitement over his new toy.
Styling is new shades
Even though it was late by the time we finished I felt he needed time to whined down and play with his new toys. So we set up his Snakes and Ladders game and played. He actually won with no cheating and without me letting him, then he very sweetly asked told me that he as sorry that I lost. I haven't spoken much about it but Sam has been acting out like crazy in the last few months, and behaving poorly for the last year. It all changed after we moved. This little boy who told me he was sorry I lost is the first glimpse I've had of the Sam from before.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Summer
Who knew summer would be busier than any other season? I sure didn't. I also never took into account that it would take more than a simply sign up form to get my son into preschool. *Sigh* I have all the paperwork at long last. Sort of. I need to find and make copies of his birth certificate... Yeah, so once I find that I send it all in and he's in right? I sure hope so. Its not like I'm applying to a high class private preschool with a long line of Ivy league grads marching through. Its a simple program put on through the college.
Now you might be wondering why I am putting him into a public school even though I have been home schooling him. The answer is simple, my sanity. Sam is a very active social child. I am not an active social person. I am very happy to stay home with my babies and not talk to a real person (sorry online mom friends, you're not real if I cant see you in person) Tiny (the baby) and I are both happy to be less social, but Sam was a day care kid for 3 years, he thrives of interaction with other children his age.
Add to my non active (this does not mean lazy, it simply means I don't feel the need to run around, or go out to places. I am a bookworm at heart and have always been the one to sit and play to read quietly) and the fact that it is hot outside (I don't do well with heat, it makes me grumpy and sick) This makes for a very unhappy Sam. He wants to run and jump and yell. I want us to snuggle in the air conditioned room with books and quiet movies. This also means not talking through the movies. We are not a "good fit" as they put it. our personalities are very different.
I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm complaining, I just want to be as honest as I can be here. I feel like we are expected to smile and pretend that its easy to be a parent and that we still live in the 50s where mom got up, dressed, and all make-up'd before she made breakfast and got the family off to school. I can't do that. I can't even remember to set the table and do the dishes daily.
Now you might be wondering why I am putting him into a public school even though I have been home schooling him. The answer is simple, my sanity. Sam is a very active social child. I am not an active social person. I am very happy to stay home with my babies and not talk to a real person (sorry online mom friends, you're not real if I cant see you in person) Tiny (the baby) and I are both happy to be less social, but Sam was a day care kid for 3 years, he thrives of interaction with other children his age.
Add to my non active (this does not mean lazy, it simply means I don't feel the need to run around, or go out to places. I am a bookworm at heart and have always been the one to sit and play to read quietly) and the fact that it is hot outside (I don't do well with heat, it makes me grumpy and sick) This makes for a very unhappy Sam. He wants to run and jump and yell. I want us to snuggle in the air conditioned room with books and quiet movies. This also means not talking through the movies. We are not a "good fit" as they put it. our personalities are very different.
I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm complaining, I just want to be as honest as I can be here. I feel like we are expected to smile and pretend that its easy to be a parent and that we still live in the 50s where mom got up, dressed, and all make-up'd before she made breakfast and got the family off to school. I can't do that. I can't even remember to set the table and do the dishes daily.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Behavior
Now we all know that kids act out when their world changes, whether it be moving, a new baby, daycare, teacher, ect. In our home its Justin going to Alaska and other family related issues. He has been acting out since Justin left and has expressed "hating" Alaska because it take shim away from us. Now I tried punishment, time outs, corner time, ect. I even tried spanking (no judgment form you non spankers) none of it worked. I started taking classes in Love and Logic parenting and they make a big emphasis on rewarding positive behavior, so we came up with a sticker chart.
Now sticker charts are great for keeping track of things, whether it be chores or simply good behavior. Sam loses toys for bad behavior or not treating them properly and then has to earn them back with good behavior. It worked for awhile, but we needed something a little more tangable for him.
I got the idea while we were in the dollar store a few weeks ago. He kept asking for things, things I would normally get him, but after his HORID behavior the week up to that day it just wasn't happening, then I saw a package of play money. And thus behavior bucks were born. He earns very real rewards towards "buying" those dollar store goodies he so desperately wanted, including more fun art supplies.
Now we have a little store set up and he earns BB for good behavior at the doctors office, in the grocery store, in the car, ect, and for helping with chores around the house. He gets more for behavior than chores. And here is the important part, he gets fined for poor behavior. If he refuses to listen and time out isn't working he gets fined. Even worse (to him) is the fact that bad behavior makes it so the behavior store stays closed longer.
Don't be afraid to over price those dollar store toys either. He sure isn't getting them for a single BB, I made that paint set he wants 15 BB. For simplicity's sake all play dollars are worth 1 BB regardless of value printed on it. When he gets older, if this is still needed, it will become more complex.
All of this does more than just teach him to behave better. I am helping my 4 year old learn some economics, as well as consequences. Teaching him about not following rules resulting in monetary fines will help teach him to follow the rules of the road BEFORE that first speeding ticket.
Give it a try. I started all of this for under $20 and you can too. Let me know how it works for you!
Now sticker charts are great for keeping track of things, whether it be chores or simply good behavior. Sam loses toys for bad behavior or not treating them properly and then has to earn them back with good behavior. It worked for awhile, but we needed something a little more tangable for him.
I got the idea while we were in the dollar store a few weeks ago. He kept asking for things, things I would normally get him, but after his HORID behavior the week up to that day it just wasn't happening, then I saw a package of play money. And thus behavior bucks were born. He earns very real rewards towards "buying" those dollar store goodies he so desperately wanted, including more fun art supplies.
Now we have a little store set up and he earns BB for good behavior at the doctors office, in the grocery store, in the car, ect, and for helping with chores around the house. He gets more for behavior than chores. And here is the important part, he gets fined for poor behavior. If he refuses to listen and time out isn't working he gets fined. Even worse (to him) is the fact that bad behavior makes it so the behavior store stays closed longer.
Don't be afraid to over price those dollar store toys either. He sure isn't getting them for a single BB, I made that paint set he wants 15 BB. For simplicity's sake all play dollars are worth 1 BB regardless of value printed on it. When he gets older, if this is still needed, it will become more complex.
All of this does more than just teach him to behave better. I am helping my 4 year old learn some economics, as well as consequences. Teaching him about not following rules resulting in monetary fines will help teach him to follow the rules of the road BEFORE that first speeding ticket.
Give it a try. I started all of this for under $20 and you can too. Let me know how it works for you!
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